We went for foot massage the other day, and when the male massager trying to make Hana giggles by rattling his tongue. Hana first stared at him, for 3 seconds, then changed her face and CRIED!!!!!!!

Of course the massager is not as good looking as her father (her mother can be a witness for this). But I don’t think it is a matter of this that made her cry. She has started knowing, sensing and comprehensing her very own existence. You-and-Me is already in her world. Is it that the face of the massager is not a You of her liking? Nop, I don’t think so, she has yet to form her own liking at this stage. It is just that she has yet to “know” him.

Knowing, has also changed her relationship with us. Because of her own knowing and knowing us, she can now totally rested on us when we carry her, head rested on our shoulder with open palms, compared to previous neck stick-up unless sleeping. I’m happy that now she knows us. We are no longer just some objects that her life is depending on, or something that would make sound to her in the morning and bath her in the evening, but a You accepted and trusted in her own knowing.

I came to know that Hana has very sensitive senses after few days of observing her after her birth. There is a reason why I have given her the Chinese name “海娜”. We human just like a bucket, how much we can contain has a limit. A sensitive person would need a bigger capacity as he or she senses more than others. “海娜” sounds after “Hana”, English name given to her in early pregnancy. But I have chosen “海” (sea) mainly because I want her to have a heart as big as a sea, that she can contain people of different kinds, beauty of different ways and life experiences of different types, as she senses them with a sensitivity higher than others'. Only then, she will and has the capacity to knowing more..... to the fullness of life.

By the way, would you believe that I can still remember that I know people came to my baby cot trying to make me giggle weeks after I was born. Scary right? veeery strong “knowing”. Unfortunately I don’t know whether I then changed my face and cried.....


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